Persy -- The Crystal Cave by Mary Stewart

King Arthur and Merlin and all those chaps have been a part of legend ever since they actually existed, and it's practically a genre unto itself. Sometimes it focuses on Merlin, sometimes Arthur, sometimes Lancelot, sometimes Guinevere, sometimes someone completely random. But the Arthurian legends are still going strong today.

Sorry, we're studying Anglo-Norman literature in my English class right now, so I'm trying not to slip into essay mode. Focus.

Myrddin Emrys is the bastard son of Lady Niniane, daughter of the king of Britain in Maridunum. No one knows who his father is, for Niniane refuses to tell a single soul, even her father the king. It is widely believed that little Merlin (affectionately called so by his mother and others) is the son of the demon or the devil himself, for sometimes he knows things he shouldn't and has a tendency to overhear a great many things.

One day Merlin finds himself in a cave and encounters a wise old man named Galapas, who teaches Merlin many things. Not long after this, Merlin is forced to flee the castle and ends up crossing the sea to Cornwall and in the service of Ambrosius, outcast prince. With Merlin's often supernatural assistance, Ambrosius and his brother Uther just might be able to retake all of Britain and drive the hated Saxons out.

Okay, so that summary is a bit crap, but I'm not super good at all of the Saxons war Britain king stuff. I followed along fine while I was reading, but it's not exactly what stuck with me.

What did stick was all of Merlin's adventures and powers. I really like how Mary Stewart writes him, starting with his toddler years and gradually following him as he grows up. He's not an amazing sorcerer, but no one will believe him when he tells them. He actually is just very very intelligent and likes to learn about everything. True, he's prone to a few destinies and visions every now and again... but really, he's not a magician.

Normally I don't read a lot of epic fantasy or even Arthurian tales in general -- it's just never been my forté. Arty's usually the one who reads that stuff. So I entered The Crystal Cave without much excitement. But I actually really enjoyed the whole adventure. It's definitely an epic in the sense that it moves along slowly at its own pace, unhurried and in no rush to get to the action. There's a lot of description of the war and the tactics of Ambrosius, which makes sense because it concerns Merlin quite a lot. Mary Stewart has some very nice writing suited to the genre she's chosen, though if you like fast-paced fantasy adventure then this isn't the book for you.

What really kept me reading was Merlin himself. His personality is just great. He's very no-nonsense, a bit brash, but also extremely level-headed as he matures into a young man. He knows how to use his brains and his luck, and is extremely good at coming up with something in the moment. No one else likes him much, but in the age he lived in, he wasn't exactly the popular type. Personally, I'd love to hang out with him.

If you like historical epic fantasy and/or Arthurian legends, this is definitely the book for you. There are few more books in Mary Stewart's Arthurian Saga, and I look forward to reading those at some point. They just take a long time to get through because they're each over 500 pages. Not exactly light reading.

It feels great to be reviewing books again. Let's hope it lasts!

--Persy

You might like this if you: like historical epic fantasy; like Arthurian legends; like Arthurian retellings; like Merlin; like magic that's not actually magic but everyone insists is magic; like historical battle fantasy stuff; or if you sometimes have weird visions that cause all your friends to make the sign against evil and make everyone think your absent father is the devil.

Persy -- The Highlander's Touch by Karen Marie Moning

Here's the thing, Karen Marie Moning: you write a story in which time travel plays a significant part, and I'm GONNA be harsh.

This is actually the third book in Karen Marie Moning's historical romance Highlander series, but you don't have to read them in order, so don't worry about spoilers for other books. However, if you don't know the standard plot to a romance novel and/or don't mind discovering one or two minor plot surprises, you might not want to read this review.

Lisa Stone is working two jobs, struggling to support her cancer-ridden mother. Her father died long ago, and now she's all Catherine, her mother, has. She works as a night maid for a museum, and one night she happens upon a mysterious artifact and... well, touches it. She is instantly transported back in time to the Scottish highlands... where she comes face to face with Circenn Brodie, a deadly man who is a stickler for rules. But will his unquenchable love for Lisa cause him to break . . . every . . . single . . . rule?

Sorry, I get super dramatic when I review romance novels. Dunno why.

Let's start way back in the Prologue. Circenn curses a flask so that once it is touched it will be transported back to him, effectively returning the lost flask. Unfortunately, it will also return whoever touches the flask. Adam gets pissy and makes Circen swear to kill the bearer of the flask to protect all the secrets, or whatever. After a lot of arguing, Circenn makes the oath. But here's the thing: Circenn swears to kill the MAN who touches the flask. MAN. MALE. Guess who brings the flask? Right. A woman. I totally expected this to be the loophole. And it would've worked SO WELL because Adam knew who would pick up the flask, and Adam didn't actually want her dead, and even if Circenn forgot he said man, Adam could've been all, "Remember, you swore to kill the MAN. AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA."

But that's not what happened. Oh well.

Moving on. I don't see what the big deal is about Circenn being immortal. I mean, yeah, I get not wanting to curse anyone else with immortality, but still. Do you have any idea how much trouble would've been saved by him just spilling the beans? "Oh, Lisa, your mother is going to die alone in the future? WAIT, I'm IMMORTAL. I promise to seek her out and take care of her. Heck, I'll even throw my sexy bod into the equation."

But that solution never occurred to anyone. Whatever.

Moving on. Perhaps this is a small detail, but it seriously bugs me. The longer Lisa spends in the past, the more upset she gets because every day she spends there is a day her mother is alone. But... she's not on another planet. She's in the past. So if she were to find some sort of way to time travel... she could just travel back to the moment she left.

But maybe I'm just being nitpicky about time travel.

But now that we're on the subject, the ending. Oh. my. gosh. the. ending. Romance novels are notorious for magical, happily ever afters, but THIS? SERIOUSLY? You are taking it TOO FAR, here! You can't just DO THAT.

There are also some absolutely random parts that I don't understand. There's the stereotypical best friend Ruby, who gets left behind in the modern day world. She has a total of two scenes, and afterwards she's sometimes referenced but never more than to explain away bits of knowledge or clothing that Lisa possesses. There is never any sign that Lisa misses her best friend. But this isn't a major issue.

What strikes me as REALLY odd is the redhead who snubs Duncan. I mean, what the crap? She and her brother hint at some malicious intent and there's the insinuation that they're even lying about their names. Moning goes into such detail about her appearance and the scene seems so dadgummed important... and then she disappears completely. Maybe it's a reference to another book in the series? I don't know. But it's just plain weird.

And my final irritation... the first time Circenn sees her in her undies, she says that he caught her in the one fancy pair of underpants she happens to own: a set of lacy lavender lingerie. The ONE pair she owns. But then at the very end, she rushes to get dressed and we find out later that she is now wearing a set of lacy PINK lingerie. What.

Oh wait. Of course. Of COURSE she'd have more lacy lingerie, because THEY CHANGED THE EFFING FUTURE. Naturally, that would result in her having more pairs of flirty underpants.

All that aside... I mean, the characters weren't bad. I guess. I didn't think the book was too awful until I started writing a review of it. Let's be honest, this isn't much of a review... more like a rant. But I can't think of anything so awe-inspiringly brilliant that it would make up for all of my little pet peeves that showed up in the book. I swear, when I was actually reading it, it wasn't awful.

But she messed with time travel. How can you expect me to not be harsh?

--Persy

You might like this if you: just really like historical romances; like time travel, but don't like it when it's complicated; have an afternoon to kill and don't want anything serious; or if you work as a night maid in a museum and wonder what would happen if you inspected all the artifacts yourself. That's right, bad stuff would happen. Don't do it.

Persy -- Eye of the Crow by Shane Peacock

Sherlock Holmes is a 13-year-old Jewish misfit who doesn't go to school and reads police newspapers for fun. He never interferes with investigations, but follows them closely, all the while solving little mysteries around his household and surrounding neighborhood. But when random chance implicates Sherlock as the accomplice to a violent murder, he has no choice but to go into hiding and attempt to clear his name. But first, he must escape from prison...

 

I'm not quite sure why, but I was expecting this to be some kind of retelling of Sherlock Holmes, in which Sherlock is a young boy in modern day London or something like that. I have no idea where I got that idea, because that's not what this series is. This really is about Sherlock as a kid before his master detective years.

 

First of all, everyone should know better than to meddle with Sherlock's past. That's part of the fun and mystery of Sherlock -- you know nothing about him. If you start trying to fabricate mysteries and adventures and details, it just starts to feel a little... meh.

 

But the funny thing is, Eye of the Crow is actually a pretty good mystery/adventure/historical book, but I really really wish it wasn't about Sherlock Holmes. If it wasn't about him, I'd look on the series with a much fonder eye.

 

I'm also not sure if this is some kind of precursor to the original Sherlock Holmes, or if Shane Peacock is retelling basic Sherlock Holmes stories. Because there's an Irene in this book (though her name isn't Irene Adler and she's not a thief or anything), and I would find it curious to name her that if it wasn't supposed to mean something. There's also the leader of a street gang, The Malefactor, who is something like Moriarty. The only thing I can figure is that maybe these characters turn into Irene Adler and Moriarty. Or perhaps it's just a big coincidence.

 

The writing isn't bad, and the plot's okay, and the mystery bit is pretty well done. Nothing about this book screams greatness, and when you add in that it's supposed to be Sherlock Holmes, it turns out to just be a meh-y book. Unfortunately, I'm required to review books four and six, so I'm going to have to continue through the whole series.

 

--Persy

 

You might like this if you: love Sherlock Holmes, and feel obligated to read every version of him you can find; like quick, easy mystery reads that don't require too much energy; like historical fiction; or if you like historical mysteries and don't care a whit about Sherlock Holmes.

Persy -- Interview With The Vampire

I only just got around to reading the great gothic vampire classic, Interview With The Vampire by the renowned Anne Rice. I know, for someone who says she likes real vampires, you'd think I'd have gotten to Anne Rice earlier, but oh well. I finally read it.

One night in modern America (?), Louis the vampire meets with a young reporter to tell his life story, which is pretty long and action-packed. It starts centuries ago, when Louis first came to America from France and was turned into a vampire by Lestat. And... well, Louis's story spans across centuries, mostly involving himself and Lestat along with a few other vampires that come and go, namely Claudia and Armand. Throughout it all, you get glimpses of the future during scenes when Louis, mysteriously alone, interacts with his human interviewer.

I'm going to be entirely honest here. I didn't like it.

I'm sorry, but it was just... geez. Anne Rice's writing is gorgeous, but... I hated all the characters. From the beginning, I really wanted Louis to just kill Lestat and then throw himself into the sunlight so they'd all be put out of their dreadful misery. That's pretty much the basis of the entire book: misery. Immortal misery. Misery spanning centuries and centuries. Misery in America, misery in Europe. Misery with one person, misery with a whole group of people.

MIIIISEEEEEERY!!!!!

Basically, Louis's a sap and Lestat is a jerk. Claudia's insane, but that's not her fault, so mostly I just feel sorry for her. Armand's actually all right, but he's not in much and is also in a miserable situation... BECAUSE OF LOUIS AND LESTAT.

So basically, I'm right back at the beginning. Lestat and Louis should both just die.

I am going to read some later novels by Anne Rice, because her writing is pretty good, but Interview With The Vampire was just a huge disappointment.

--Persy

You might like this if you: like gothic vampiric stuff; don't read books looking for cool characters; just want to say you've read it; or if you find yourself in an incredible state of misery and for some reason want to read about other people in misery.

Persy -- 2011 Book Party!

Welcome to 2012! Do I really need to say that I felt like a time traveler last night, when all my friends in Ireland were celebrating the new year, and yet I was still back in 2011? How epic is that?

My reading goal for 2011 was 180 books. I was about twenty books short halfway through December, so I went on a major reading marathon reading tons of novellas and manga, and I REACHED MY GOAL! Of course, now I've practically read myself sick, so I'm not sure when I'll next finish a book, but oh well.

So in 2011, I read 180 books. 17 were comic books of some sort, and 29 were manga. The first book I finished in 2011 was Tales of H.P. Lovecraft, by...well, H.P. Lovecraft. And the last book I finished in 2011 was Fractured Fables, an anthology collected by Jim Valentino and Kristen K. Simon. Funny how I started and ended the year with anthologies (and I'm not even big on anthologies). Now let's talk about some of the highlights!

I thought it'd be cool to have 11 best books of 2011, buuut... I couldn't narrow it down that far. I had to get rid of several awesome books just to get to 13, so you'll just have to deal with it.

BEST BOOKS OF 2011! READ AND ADORE!

Dracula by Bram Stoker. Some people say Dracula is dull and tedious, but I love it. Sure, it takes a while, but it is so worth it. Especially if you read the Jae Lee illustrated version. Gorgeous. This is probably the best vampire novel of all time.

Going Bovine by Libba Bray. Mad cow disease. Punk angel. Dwarf. Road trip. Need I say more? If I do, then go read the review I wrote back in march.

The Ratastrophe Catastrophe by David Lee Stone. I reviewed this one in July, so feel free to read the longer version. Let's just say it's a hilarious, adventuresome retelling of the Pied Piper fairy tale.

Dragon Slippers by Jessica Day George. There's nothing quite like a good fantasy novel with dragons, and Dragon Slippers is one of the best. An awesome main character (who sews) and some trully awesome dragons, and a SUPER awesome ending!

The Courtney Crumrin books by Ted Naifeh. These graphic novels get better and better. Courtney is an awesome character, and it's amazing watching how she grows through the stories. The art's very cool too.

Graceling by Kristin Cashore. Katsa is one of the few female main characters who can go all kick-ass on the reader and still be cool. And a main character makes the book.

Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare. Of course I love all of Shakespeare's work, but Twelfth Night is one of my favorites, and it's the one I picked to go on the list. I have a thing for jesters, and the jester in Twelfth Night is awesome.

Ouran High School Host Club manga series by Bisco Hatori. Everyone knows that I'm obsessed with Ouran High School Host Club, anime and manga both. It's my dream to have a rose backdrop in my room so I can pose and quote the series more dramatically. So far my favorite volume is Vol. 4, in which the members of the host club do Alice In Wonderland. It's a retelling to rival even Into The Looking Glass.

Companions Of The Night by Vivian Vande Velde. It's possible I've mentioned this one every year, but that's because it stays awesom every time I read it. It doesn't get old. Ever. It's awesome. I love it. Best YA vampire book. Go read it. NOW NOW NOW.

The League series by Sherrilyn Kenyon. Everyone knows I'm infatuated with Sherrilyn Kenyon's league series. In 2011 I reread the first three and read the newest one, Born of Shadows, for the first time. Epicness! I've reviewed the first two, so I'll try and get the last two in sometime.

Vurt by Jeff Noon. This is a very strange, surreal novel. It's a bit disgusting. It's rather intense. And it's very, very good.

The Time Machine by H.G. Wells. Everyone knows I love time travel (when done well, of course). And behold, the mother of time travel stories! It's intense, it's horrifying, and it's wonderful!

The Zombie Powder manga series by Tite Kubo. My new favorite manga series. The art is very nice and very clear, and I really, really love the main character, Gamma Akutabi. I hope the rest of the volumes are just as good as the first.

**Honorable Mentions** These are all the pour souls that wouldn't fit into my Best Of. Feel free to ask about any of them!

Thirteen Days To Midnight (Patrick Carman); Dragon's Bait (Vivian Vande Velde); The Great Gatsby (F. Scott Fitzgerald); Nightlight (Harvard Lampoon); Weird Henry Berg (Sarah Sargent); Fire (Kristin Cashore); Tegami Bachi series (Hiroyuki Asada); Interstellar Pig (William Sleator); You Smell Dead (Chris P. Flesh); The Three Musketeers (Alexandre Dumas); Flatland (Edwin A. Abbott); Eureka Seven series (Jinsei Kataoka and Kazuma Kondou); Jabberwocky & Other Poems (Lewis Carroll); Astérix comics (Rene Goscinny); Poison Study (Maria V. Snyder); Holes (Louis Sachar); Carry On, Mr. Bowditch (Jean Lee Latham); Being Dead (Vivian Vande Velde. Actually, just go read all of her stuff).

BOOKS TO AVOID. SERIOUSLY.

Mistress of the Art of Death by Ariana Franklin. A female forensic scientist in the middle ages? Er...no.

Fire Study by Maria V. Snyder. Poison Study is sooo good...and the third book is so awful. Ugh. Don't go anywhere near it.

The Stargazer by Michele Jaffe. I love Bad Kitty, but Michele Jaffe's earlier adult novels are just...not so great. Stubborn, idiotic characters and a rather weak plot that doesn't really have anything to do with anything.

Cowboys & Aliens by Scott Mitchell Rosenberg and Dennis Calero. I read it 'cause the movie was awesome, but the comic book has nothing to do with the movie and is actually really awful.

Death Island by Joan Conning Afman. Oh my gosh I could not finish it. It's awful. So, so awful. This guy gets banished to this island, and his first escape plan is to build an airplane.

So how did YOU do in 2011, and how do you hope to do in 2012? My goal is to read either 181 books or 45,000 pages. Good luck to you all!

--Persy

Wednesday (Almost) Scrolls - Best And Worst of November, 2011

Arty here. Well, how was your Thanksgiving? Awesome, I hope. Personally, I ate way too much. But then that goes without saying.

Anyway, it's time to evaluate our reading months.

In the month of November, I read 19 books and one manga.

Best November Book: Oh, so The Book Thief. I read it in about five days (I'm a busy girl) and completely abandoned everything else to finish this awesome work. I almost cried at the end. Read it - I can't summarize it. Just read it.

Honorable Mention: I read a lot of good books this month. I think the second best one, on purely entertainment purposes, was How To Break A Dragon's Heart by Cressida Cowell. Notice that this series has made it onto both of my Honorable Mentions? Because this series is like ICE CREAM, PEOPLE. It's just insanely fun. And Alvin is the BEST VILLAIN EVAR.

Worst November Book: Particularly Cats by Doris Lessing. Nonfiction about, of course, cats. Didn't realize it was quite so... realistic. Not my cup of tea.

Dishonorable Mention: Jade Green by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor. Historical mystery/ghost story... thing. Just strange, though it does have the unique privilege of grossing me out. Not much grosses me out.

Arty

'Ello, Chaps! Persy's here! That was my British accent, in case you hadn't noticed. Yeah, I had weird dreams about John Simm and underground airports last night, don't ask.

November was a bad month for me. I read only 9 books, and that's counting 2 manga. My page count totalled up to a measly 1817. Sad. I'll do better this month (did I say that about November? Hm..)

Best November Book: I'll have to go with How To Train Your Dragon by Cressida Cowell. I didn't really read any super amazing books this month, so this one wins easily.

Honorable Mention: Born of Ice by Sherrilyn Kenyon and Ouran High School Host Club Vol. 3 by Bisco Hatori. Yeah, so there's two honorable mentions, what are you going to do, sue me?

Worst November Book: Alexander The Great by John Gunther. A poorly written nonfiction book about, well, Alexander the Great.

Dishonorable Mention: There really isn't one. "Alexander" was the only book of November that I really didn't like. Whoohoo.

So there you have it, our best and worst of November. This weekend there'll be a new review and we'll return to our regularly scheduled Literary Heroines Who Don't Suck next week (maybe)!

--Persy

Wednesday Scrolls - Literary Heroines Who Don't Suck, Classic & Historical Arena

And we're back with the next installment of Literary Heroines Who Don't Suck! We are now in the Arena stage, and have already seen Fantasy and Urban Fantasy heroines battle it out. Now the Classic & Historical heroines are here to compete. Refresh your memory with the contestants here.

And our first pair is... Mara (Mara, Daughter of the Nile, Eloise Jarvis McGraw) vs. Cat Royal (Cat Royal series, Julia Golding)!

Category One. Personality.

Mara's firey spirit is vibrant and stubborn, allowing her to survive in all kinds of situations and come out near the top. She's incredibly intelligent and good at persuasion.

Cat also has a strong survival instinct. She's quick with her feet and her mind, and sometimes her tongue.

Winner: Mara. It's a very long argument, strong insults are exchanged and they almost come to blows, but Mara wins in the end.

Category Two. Fight!

Mara's learned to use words instead of fists, but that hardly means she doesn't slap people around from time to time.

In a fistfight, Cat's pretty useless. She relies on her resourcefulness and quick feet to survive.
Winner: Mara. Again, it's a very long, drawn-out fight, Cat being too quick for Mara to catch. But Mara finally uses her wits to outsmart Cat.

Category Three. "Kiss Me, You Fool!"

Mara, the double-agent slave, and Sheftu the secret agent duke person!

Cat and...well, no one, really. She's got potential romance, but she's too young to even care. Good for her!

Winner: Mara, by default. And because Sheftu is awesome.

Category Four. Friends.

Mara, being a slave and a double agent, doesn't have any real friends, just some friendly acquaintances.

Cat's got a varied collection, including a violin-playing slave, two wealthy children, and the head of a street gang.
Winner: Cat, mostly be default.

Category Five. Historic Atmosphere.

Mara, the lucky gal, lives in Ancient Egypt, so her story is entirely plausible and feels fine.

Cat is from Victorian London, which leaves less to be imagined, but still feels perfectly acceptable unless you're a history fanatic.

Winner: Draw. I'm not good at history.

End Score! Mara: 3 Cat: 1 Draws: 1 Congratulations, Mara! You move on to the next round! Don't worry Cat, you probably didn't care to begin with.

And our second fighting pair is...Marguerite St. Just (The Scarlet Pimpernel, Baroness Orczy) vs. Emily Trefusis (Murder At Hazelmoor, Agatha Christie)!

Category One. Personality.

Marguerite is a kind, marginally happy young woman with a strong spirit and lots of nerve.

Emily is very sharp and observant, and knows how to use her pretty smile.

Winner: Emily. She's more comfortable with diving into an argument and so has an advantage.

Category Two. Fight!

Marguerite may slap an attacker if her life depended on it, but fighting does not come naturally to her.

Emily is very similar, and wouldn't really know what to do in a fight.

Winner: Draw. Neither contestant will strike first.

Category Three. "Kiss Me, You Fool!"

Marguerite and Sir Percy, AKA The Scarlet Pimpernel! Yeees!
Emily and her fiancé. Even she admits he's a weakling, but loves him nonetheless.

Winner: Marguerite. Emily's devotion and love certainly are admirable, but Marguerite and Percy are way more interesting.

Category Four. Friends.

Marguerite ends up with no true friends, and no one to trust besides the mysterious Scarlet Pimpernel...

Emily teams up with Charles, a reporter who falls in love with her.

Winner: Marguerite. The Scarlet Pimpernel definitely beats a love-sick reporter.

Category Five. Historic Atmosphere.

Marguerite lives in the middle of the French Revolution, portraying the chaos and tension very well.

Emily is much more modern, in the early 1900s.

Winner: Marguerite. Even the French Revolution is more interesting than the 1930s

End Score! Marguerite: 3 Emily: 1 Draws: 1 Congratulations, Marguerite! You're moving on to the next round! Don't worry, Emily, you just go back to your pathetic fiancé.

And our last pair is...Mary "Jacky" Faber (Bloody Jack series, L.A. Meyer) vs. Rosalind Hawkins (The Fire Rose, Mercedes Lackey)!

Category One. Personality.

Jacky's fun-loving, witty, strong personality developed out of neccessity, but that's perfectly fine because she's hilarious and a proper trickster.

Rose is a perfect example of what a historic heroine should be: not obsessed with women's rights, not gushing over fashion, and smart and capable. She doesn't even think about her station as a woman, and that's absolutely refreshing.

Winner: Draw. Jacky might win any argument they have, but Rose has a certain dignity in maintaining her somewhat confused silence.

Category Two. Fight!

Jacky can fight. She's good with guns, swords, cannons, and her own fists. Watch out, world.

Rose, on the other hand, being a proper lady, can't fight at all.

Winner: Jacky, obviously.

Category Three. "Kiss Me, You Fool!"

Jacky's undying devotion to her true love Jaimy is sweet, but Jaimy's hardly ever in the books.

Rose and James, Beauty and the Beast.

Winner: Rose. Jacky gets points for refusing the hordes of men she leaves in her wake, but Rose and James are so wonderful.

Category Four. Friends.

You can't count the number of people Jacky befriends. Half the world owes her favors and the other half wants her dead.

Rose, on the other hand, is rather friendless.

Winner: Jacky. I expect her friends would still win even if Rose had anyone to bring to the table.

Category Five. Historic Atmosphere.

I'm pretty sure Jacky's world isn't exactly what it was like in the 19th century, but it's so much fun it feels perfectly plausible.

We've already discussed how Rose is a proper historic heroine, which makes her whole world feel so much more realistic.

Winner: Rose. Her world is perfectly constructed and fits the time period, while Jacky's just seems to.

Tie Breaker Category. Style.

Winner: Jacky. Her style is more fun and more amusing, and usually more useful.

Style is always important when it comes to historical novels, and Jacky has got some amazing style. Her fashion style may not be so great (she looks good in a dress, but doesn't always manage to keep it undamaged), but she knows how to make an entrance -- and an exit.

Rose is softer, quieter, and less dramatic. She doesn't find it necessary to be seen, which I respect.

End Score! Jacky: 3 Rose: 2 Draws: 1 Congratulations, Jacky! You're on to the next round! Don't worry about it, Rose, you don't really care anyway.

So our Classic & Historical finalists are Mara, Marguerite St. Just, and Jacky Faber! Tune in next Wednesday for the Other Genres Arena!

--Persy

Wednesday Scrolls - Literary Heroines Who Don't Suck, Classic & Historical Fiction Edition

Time to continue the ongoing Literary Heroines Who Don't Suck Saga! We've already covered fantasy and urban fantasy, and today we'll be taking a look at both classic and historical fiction. I combined the two genres because there just weren't enough to warrant a list for each. Even combined, there's only 8, not even a full 10. I don't read a lot of historical fiction, and there aren't really a lot of heroines in classic novels. What's really amazing though, is that they're all almsot equal in their awesomeness. Here's a list of the 8 I've encounted in my travels:

#8. Wilhelmina "Mina" Harker from Dracula by Bram Stoker. Classic Horror. Listen, y'all (and I don't use that term lightly), Dracula is not boring, it is not tedious, and it is not filled with obscene pages of violence and dirt. It's a work of genius. and Mina Harker is actually very cool. She's certainly not the best character in the book, but that hardly makes her boring. She's comfortable in her situation as a woman, doesn't run off to kill the vampires behind Van Helsing's back, and yet is still brave. She is dignified. And the book itself? ^^ Work of genius.

#7. Kit Tyler from The Witch Of Blackbird Pond by Elizabeth George Speare. Classic Fiction. "Despite winning the Newberry Award..." Yeah, I did just quote myself. But let's face it, Newberry Award winners are usually dull and boring, but "Blackbird Pond" is an exception to the rule. Kit is pretty awesome, seen as a foreign witch by her new neighbors and relatives. But she ends up making a school (by accident) for the young children, teaching them to read and write. Go Kit! And the book itself? Excellent.

#6. Rosalind Hawkins from The Fire Rose by Mercedes Lackey. Historical Fiction/Fantasy. As I've said before, best Beauty and the Beast retelling. Ever. Rosalind, like Mina, is perfectly content being a woman and wearing corsets and skirts, and doesn't even think about it. Instead, she just curls up in her chair, forgetting all about her skirts, to read her books in comfort. She's and educated woman, irritated that men don't always accept her knowledge, but she doesn't jump up on a soapbox and start shouting at everyone. Plus, she's just kind of cute. And the book itself? ^^Best B&B retelling. Ever.

#5. Emily Trefusis from Murder At Hazelmoor (AKA The Sittaford Mystery) by Agatha Christie. Classic Mystery. Christie doesn't always do it for me, but Emily is very cool. If you want something done, do it yourself. That's what she decides when her fiancé (a silly little man, but for some reason she can't figure out, she loves him anyway) is charged with murder. So she heads down to solve the mystery herself, weedling her way into the heart of the little village. She's a brilliantly created heroine. And the book itself? Ending a bit disappointing, but overall quite good.

#4. Cat Royal from the Cat Royal series by Julia Golding. Historical Fiction. Cat's actually a very average young adult historical heroine: spunky, adventurous, and witty. She's good at getting into tight situations, and she's good at getting out of them. Perhaps it's Golding's writing that distinguishes Cat from all the others. And the book itself (The Diamond of Drury Lane)? So good.

#3. Marguerite St. Just from The Scarlet Pimpernel by Baroness Orczy. Classic Adventure/Superhero. *squees* Best book EVER. While Marguerite isn't the best part of it, she plays her part(s) superbly. You want a double agent? Check her out. And the book itself? OMGZ SO AWESOME.

#2. Mary "Jacky" Faber from the Bloody Jack/Jacky Faber series by L.A. Meyer. Historical Adventure. Girl dresses as boy to get into some sort of all-boy situation. Cliché. But when it's actually done well, it's amazing. Jacky doesn't start dressing as a boy because she particularly wants to, it just kind of happens and she's got nowhere else to go but the sea, and they don't take girls anyway. Jacky is full of adventure and absolute hilarity. And the book itself (Bloody Jack)? Go read ALL THE BOOKS IN THE SERIES!

#1. Mara from Mara, Daughter Of The Nile by Eloise Jarvis McGraw. Classic/Historical Espionage. Okay, remember how I said Marguerite St. Just is the best example of a double agent? Mara would actually give her a serious run for her money. I would love to see these two in battle. Mara is roped into double agent-dom, but she does it so well and she's so amazing. And the book itself? Dude, READ IT ALREADY.

And there you have it. This weekend I'll be doing a review, and the following Wednesday we'll have the last installment of the Literary Heroines Who Don't Suck Saga! Unless we have an ultimate showdown, of course...

--Persy

Persy -- Wednesday Scrolls -- Hate List

Sometimes, there are characters that you just hate. I'm not talking about the evil villains, or the annoying main character, or the weird girl character that exists for no reason (though a few of those are just terrible). I'm talking about those characters, be they good, bad, male, or female, that you just hate and want to die. Don't tell me you've never come across a few of those.

Now I'm not saying the writer did a bad job of creating these characters. Sometimes, you're supposed to hate them, so the author did a brilliant writing job. Go writer.

Other times, they do it accidentally.

So I've composed a list of twelve of the characters I just cannot stand just for your enlightenment, and the books that contain them. We'll work our way up to the worst of the worst.

#12. Alan Ryves from The Demon's Lexicon by Sarah Rees Brennan.

You probably know my opinion on this book already, since I did a review (http://persyandarty.blogspot.com/2011/05/persy-demons-lexicon-by-sarah-rees.html) of it back in May. I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with this book, but most of the hate finally settled on this character. He's the brother of the MC, Nick, and seems the epitome of niceness. Makes you want to punch him. Especially at the end. Ugh.

#11. Sabine Campbell from My Soul To Steal by Rachel Vincent, fourth book in the Soul Screamers series.

This character you're probably supposed to hate, so I don't really blame her. But I still can't stand her. She's the ex-girlfriend of the MC's boyfriend who just pops up out of nowhere and starts being a total *cough*witch*cough*. I do not recommend reading this far into the series unless the fifth one ends up being a total gem and you have to connect the dots.

#10. Nash Hudson from My Soul To Steal by Rachel Vincent, fourth book in the Soul Screamers series.

This is said boyfriend, who starts being a total idiot at the end of the third book, and finally just gets there in the fourth. I seriously want to just punch him in the stomach.

#9. Homburg Molly from Seeing Redd by Frank Beddor.

She has almost no reason to exist, except for being the cause of all the trouble and the link between Hatter Madigan (awesome) and Weaver (not so awesome). Just plain annoying.

#8. St. John Rivers from Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte.

I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I can't stand this guy. He's so...gaaah. *shivers* Creepy? Irksome? Awkward?

#7. Muriel Hardwicke from A Countess Below Stairs by Eva Ibbotson.

This character is the bad guy of the book, so I actually feel rather good about hating her guts (and I always award Eva Ibbotson points for this character). She's just evil. Check out the full review (http://persyandarty.blogspot.com/2011/01/persy-countess-below-stairs-by-eva.html) I did way back in January.

#6. Ridley Duchannes from Beautiful Creatures by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl.

I also don't feel bad about hating this character either, since she's pretty much an evil witch (and I mean that literally). She slinks around with her evil powers and smirks and NO ONE EVER DOES ANYTHING! That's REALLY what I hate, is that nobody ever just caved her face in. You can read the full review of Beautiful Creatures here (http://persyandarty.blogspot.com/2011/03/persy-beautiful-creatures-by-kami.html)

#5. Ever Bloom from Evermore by Alyson Noel.

Oh my stars, this book sucks. Lots of it is because of the MC, Ever. Ugh. That's all there is to say.

#4. Lilith Llewelyn from Rampant by Diana Peterfreund.

Lilith actually isn't in the book much, but she's frickin' annoying even when she's not. She's the evil mother of the MC (though she's not actually evil which is partly why I hate her so much). I did a full review of this book a loong time ago (http://persyandarty.blogspot.com/2010/05/persy-rampant-by-diana-peterfreund.html) if you want to check it out.

#3. Esmerelda from The Hunchback of Notre-Dame by Victor Hugo.

Airhead. And everyone loves her so much. Sure, maybe she can dance and maybe she's drop dead gorgeous, but there ain't nothin' goin' on behind those purty eyes.

#2. Melissa from Midnighters by Scott Westerfeld.

Now I have to tread carefully here, because I don't entirely remember what this character's name was. I could've sworn she was Tara, but I might've been getting her confused with a different mind-reading character. But I did my best to pinpoint what her name actually is, and I'm pretty sure it's Melissa. And I didn't hate her guts until the second or third book (again, I can't remember), when she just became awful. I stopped reading almost immediately and have never gone back and started again, though I'm considering it. Don't know if I can face her again, though...

#1. Ophelia "Oh" James from Thirteen Days To Midnight by Patrick Carman.

And this is her. The queen of awful chars. The mother of all evil. The one person I might kill without regretting it later. She's one of the three MCs, and the girlfriend of the main MC, Jacob. She's reckless, bossy, sly, and a know-it-all tough girl. At the end, you find that there's a good reason she's that way, but that doesn't make her any less annoying. I hated her from the beginning, and I hated her to the very end.

So there you go, a list of the twelve chars I can. not. stand. Woe to the characters that add on to this list in the future.

What about you? What characters do you want to stab repeatedly with a fork and then throw over the edge of a cliff into shark-infested waters?

--Persy

Arty - The Seeing Stone by Kevin Crossley-Holland

I've seen this book in a hundred different bookstores and been mesmerized every time by its cover. Maybe I have a thing for old-fashioned covers, but... isn't it beautiful? There's just something magical about it.

And then there's the old adage, Don't judge a book by its cover.

Arthur de Caldicot is the son of John de Caldicot, lord of a manor near the Welsh border in 12th century England. He's a normal thirteen-year-old, the second-born son, hoping to become a squire soon. His older brother, Serle, is a bully; his friend, Merlin, is as mysterious as old men come (not to mention he can jump 47 feet in a single bound).

Then Merlin gives Arthur a strange stone - an obsidian - that shows him of another Arthur, one from centuries past... the son of King Uther. And Arthur starts to realize that perhaps his humdrum existence isn't all there is to him.

As is obvious, this is a retelling, of sorts, of the King Arthur story. Well, maybe not retelling, as all the classical story has already passed and is accepted as fact; a continuation. And as interesting as it sounds... Crossley-Holland really let his story fall.

Basically - nothing happens. There are 100 chapters in this book, most pleasantly short, but they don't really do anything to advance the plot. It's Arthur, living his life as it happens, and occasionally seeing flashbacks of his past self - the Arthur - in his obsidian. I've heard critical reviews saying that the book is 'melodious,' 'thoughtful,' 'musical;' these, apparently, are synonyms for 'boring,' 'uninspired,' 'lifeless.'

The prose was good, even 'musical' at times. The beginning sentence: "Tumber Hill! It's my clamber-and-tumble-and-beech-and-bramble hill! Sometimes, when I'm standing on the top, I fill my lungs with air and I shout. I shout." It's lilting, compelling, even hypnotizing sometimes, like Old English ballads.

But prose can't save a sagging plotline.

Arthur was a likable enough kid, as was his little sister Sian. And Merlin - well, I haven't met an author yet who can totally ruin Merlin, and Crossley-Holland is no exception. It's not like any reader with half a brain can't guess that 'the hooded man' that Arthur sees in his obsidian is Merlin, but it's still great to see him in his quintessential Totally Awesome Old Wizard role. That never gets old (no pun intended).

The story did pick up a little tiny bit at the end, and if the library has the sequel, I might pick it up... on a slow day. And this is because I'm a King Arthur fan. If you're not a King Arthur fan, then this is definitely not the book for you (and it probably won't be even if you are).

Someone looking for something better would do good to look up the Pendragon Cycle, by Stephen R. Lawhead. Obviously based on Arthurian legend, it goes all the way from Taliesin (an old Celtic bard) to the search for the Holy Grail. I've only read the first book, Taliesin, which was very good, but I've never known Lawhead to disappoint as his series go along.

Another alternative to the Arthur Trilogy would be the Lost Years of Merlin, by T.A. Barron. These, obviously, are about Merlin, not Arthur, and, while they can get extremely cliché and/or cheesy, they're still quite entertaining.

Persy -- Beautiful Creatures by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl

Welcome to the Southern town of Gatlin, and when we say Southern, we mean Southern. You don't say 'Civil War' down here, you say 'War Between The States'. Every year, you do participate in the Civil War Reenactment. You don't keep secrets in Gatlin.

The exception, of course, is Macon Ravenwood and "Amma". Macon Ravenwood is the town's Boo Radley, as they often call him. No one's ever seen him, he never comes out of his manor. Amma is Ethan Wate's housekeeper/almost-grandmother. Ethan Wate is a teenage boy. Lena Duchannes is Macon Ravenwood's niece who appears out of nowhere and does not fit in. At all. Plus, she's got more than a few secrets.

But here's the deal, Ethan's had dreams about Lena long before they've ever met. And the closer he gets to the mysterious girl, the more secrets Gatlin unveils. Ethan learns about Amma's past, he meets the infamous Macon Ravenwood, and he gets pulled into a mystery surrounding his and Lena's ancestors centuries ago. Ethan determinedly picks at all of Lena's layers until he finds out the truth, and then he has to keep digging to save her from her destiny.

This book surprised me, I'll just say that right now. I'm not sure what I was expecting when I opened it up, but I was thinking along the lines of a random supernatural character, some bad writing, and long speeches of heartfelt love. Forget that. This book is more of a cross between historical mystery and supernatural romance/mystery.

Plus, Macon Ravenwood is so freakin' awesome I thought I might die. But anyway.

I often got tired of Lena. She's an easily depressed and hopeless girl who can't seem to make up her mind about her other personality traits. But Ethan's not a bad guy, even though he makes a few stupid mistakes throughout the story.

And now for the plot itself. It was actually a pretty okay plot, but the ending seemed...convenient. Sort of like the authors wrote themselves into a corner, didn't want to make a decision, and so threw in a very lucky forecast. I'm hoping they'll actually make a resolution about the 'destiny' thing in the second book. And they also make a big deal out of how Ethan can always predict the murderer in movies and is great at solving puzzles, but he only really uses this skill once, when it seems like it would've sprung into gear many more times. Plus, why did no one ever just SMACK RIDLEY?

Sorry.

Anyway. Besides the ending and the no-smacking-of-Ridley, the only things that really bothered me was that some of the elements strongly reminded me of one of my friend's books and there was a character named Wesley Jefferson -- the name of my cousin. Luckily, they actually called him Link the whole time, so it wasn't too disconcerting after his initial introduction.

To conclude, Beautiful Creatures is a pretty fascinating mystery with one of the awesomest characters ever with only a few unfortunate plotholes and annoyances. It really is rather unique, and I'd reccommend it to teenage mystery-lovers who also have a thing for the supernatural. I get the feeling that Kami Garcia's and Margaret Stohl's writing will get better with time, so I'm really looking forward to the second book, Beautiful Darkness.

--Persy

Persy -- A Countess Below Stairs by Eva Ibbotson

World War I has just ended and the Russian country is in chaos. The Grazinsky family of counts and countesses escape to England, where Anna insists on getting a job as a maid, despite her Governess's strong opinion that countesses should not go under stairs.

Anna gets a job at Mersham, home to the Earl of Westerholme, Rupert Westerholme. There, everyone is just beginning the preparations for the Earl's wedding to a young lady named Muriel Hardwicke.

Everyone's first impression of Muriel is wonderful. She's a beautiful young woman with seemingly lovely manners, not to mention she saved Rupert's life when she was a nurse during the war. But it rapidly becomes obvious that Muriel is not as pleasant as she seems, and she has many changes in store for Mersham.

And while all that is happening, Rupert not only discovers Anna's true identity as a Russian Countess, but also begins to fall in love with her, and she with him.

You might remember my review of A Company of Swans, also by Ibbotson, back in November. I raved and raved, because I loved the book SO MUCH. Well, this one's going to get a rave too. Just warning you.

Eva Ibbotson can do what very, very few authors can: she brings out my inner hopeless romantic. "Countess" had me glued to the pages, urging Rupert and Anna on and cursing the vile name of Muriel. Rupert and Anna were both awesome, and they weren't the only ones. Mr. Proom, the butler of Mersham, became my hero, and Tom Byrne is really cool and The Honourable Ollie is just adorable.

And let's not forget the villain. Muriel roused up my loathing gradually, just like she did for the other characters in the story. At first, she seems rather nice, if a little arrogant. But then as you read more, you really start to despise her. She's pure evil in blonde curls and silk.

I'm starting to get the feel of Eva Ibbotson's romance novels. She sets up two characters who shouldn't be able to end up together, then has them fall in love. Sometimes it starts to look like a happy ending, and sometimes it doesn't, but at some point before the ending it all really goes to pieces and the two main chars are on virtually opposite ends of the earth feeling incredibly miserable. But don't go thinking all her books are the same plot and characters with different names; they're not. A Company of Swans and A Countess Below Stairs are similar enough in that they're both historical fiction, romances, and totally awesome, but aside from that they're two separate stories.

I've heard not all of Ibbotson's stuff is that great, though. I've only read three of her books, and so far it looks like either her teen fiction or her historical fiction is what she really excels at her. Her normal fantasy is sometimes pretty good, but I know Arty hates one of her novels (one I haven't read). She's written quite a lot, and I'm working my way through it all. Unfortunately, she died last year. I'm going to be even sadder when I get to her last book.

--Persy

Persy -- A Company of Swans by Eva Ibbotson

Ballerinas sailing down the amazon in the year 1912. Do I have your attention?

Meet Harriet Morton, daughter of a strict an intolerant professor who is strongly against female students. And that wouldn't be that bad for Harriet, since she isn't greatly interested in school, but when she is invited to go on a ballet tour of South America, her father bans her from her ballet lessons. Harriet has never fought her father for anything, but she does for this. If she stays, she will most likely be forced to marry the very uninteresting Edward Finch-Dutton.

Harriet is sure that she will never be able to go on the tour, but her mind changes when she meets young Henry St. John Verney-Brandon, who tells her all about "The Boy" who left many years ago and went to travel the Amazon. The strange coincidence makes Harriet even more determined to go on the tour, especially after promising young Henry that she will try and find "The Boy".

So Harriet cooks up a little scheme and runs away from home, leaving her guardians thinking she is off visiting a respectable friend. She joins the the ballet company, and off they go to Manaus, South America.

Through various happenstances, Harriet meets Rom Verney, a wealthy Englishman living in Manaus. She soon confirms that he is "The Boy". They also soon fall in love. But alas, things are not so simple. In fact, things get so complicated that I'm not going to put it all down here, because I really don't know where to start. Suffice to say that Edward Finch-Dutton comes after Harriet while other people come after Rom. There are misunderstandings and wrong assumptions, and everything goes to pieces in the end (or does it?).

Now, you all know I'm a dancer (or, you do now), so perhaps this book appeals to me more than the average reader. But despite any prejudices I might have, this book is AWESOME. It's much more of a romance than I was expecting (never judge a book by its back summary), but I wouldn't classify it as a romance novel. Besides, Rom is awesome and Harriet isn't all that bad. Generally, I strongly dislike at least one of the main characters in most books (especially romance novels), but these characters were great.

The story also was quite well down, full of plot twists and even a few surprises I didn't see coming. Like I said before though, some of it gets a little complicated and you have to be paying attention in order to fully understand everything.

So if you're a dancer, a romance-reader, a historical-reader, or a character-reader, go find this book. I breathe a happy little sigh every time I think about it, and it's on my "Buy ASAP" list. I mean really, how can you go wrong with ballerinas in South America during 1912?

-Persy

Persy -- Sorcery and Cecelia or The Enchanted Chocolate Pot by Patricia C. Wrede and Caroline Stevermer

Being the Correspondence of Two Young Ladies of Quality Regarding Various Magical Scandals in London and the Country.

Historical fiction set in an alternate England, told in the form of letters written by two cousins to each other. Please tell me I'm not the only one this appeals to.

Katherine Talgarth, or Kate, is taken to London with her younger sister Georgina and their Aunt Charlotte for Kate's season, while Cecelia Rushton, or Cecy, Kate's cousin, is left at home in the country. The entire book is made up of their letters to each other, describing what is going on.

In London, Kate, who is remarkably clumsy but brilliant at improvisation, wanders right into the middle of a conspiracy. She slips through a door into a garden to find a woman sitting at a table with a spectacularly blue chocolate pot. The woman invites her to take some chocolate with her, seeming to think that Kate is someone called 'Thomas'. Kate only just escapes the strange tea party intact.

Meanwhile, back in the country, there is a new neighbor of Cecy's who seems to have entranced all the young men in the area. At the same time, Cecy begins to notice one James Tarleton attempting to sneak around (he's not very good at it), spying on Dorothea, the girl who is charming the rest of the town. In her attempt to get to the bottom of it, Cecy discovers her magical talent and begins to try to teach herself magic.

It's not long before things are getting completely out of control. Oliver, Cecy's brother, has gone missing, Kate has become betrothed, and Cecy has found a very interesting book in Sir Hilary's library...

Each character belongs to a different author. The two writers started writing letters to each other, making it up as they went. The only rules for their 'letter game' were that they could not discuss the plot with each other. It had to all be revealed in the letters. Which meant that neither of them knew exactly what was going to happen next.

This marvelous story of two cousins in an alternate world of magic is what happens when two fantastic writers (Patricia C. Wrede and Caroline Stevermer) get together and start playing a game. There are two more books in the same series, both written over ten years after the first book. I've only read the second one, The Grand Tour or The Purloined Coronation Regalia (Being a Revelation of Matters of High Confidentiality and Greatest Importance, Including Extracts from the Intimate Diary of a Nobelwoman and the Sworn Testimony of a Lady of Quality), which was very good, though a bit confusing and not nearly as intriguing as the first one. I've been trying to get my hands on the third book, The Mislaid Magician or Three Years After (Being the Private Correspondence Between Two Prominent Familes Regarding a Scandal Touching the Highest Levels of Government and the Security of the Realm), but so far no luck.

I'd recommend this book to fantasy readers, fans of the uniquely told story, or anyone who just loves a good tale full of interesting quirks. Definitely one of my favorites.

--Persy