Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Wednesday Scrolls - Literary Heroines Who Don't Suck, Fantasy Arena

So we've completed the four lists of Literary Heroines Who Don't Suck, but the show's not over. I know, you're probably sick of these lists already, and you've got to be wondering if I have anything better to do, and I really do...but this is much more fun.

Here's how the Character Arena (as I'm dubbing it for future battles) will work: to make things as fair as possible, we'll first have the chars in one genre/list battle each other. For instance, the top six Fantasy heroines will be set one-on-one until there are only three left. There will then be another battle for Urban Fantasy, then Classic/Historical, etc. etc., until there are only three heroines remaining in each category. They will then battle each other. All opponents will be chosen at random. The champion will earn her novel a reread, and the second and third place winners may as well. Fourth place will recieve a brief moment of honor. Don't worry if you don't understand, it should make sense as we continue (hopefully).

Contestants will recieve points in 5 categories: Personality (because that's obviously imporant); Fighting Talent (because it IS a battle); Romance (because they ARE girls and there are girls in literature, there's romance); Friends (you are judged by the company you keep); and one last category specific to the genre.

This week is the Fantasy Heroine Arena. To refresh yourself on the heroines, check out their post. Only the top six will be battling in the Arena.

And the first couple is... Sophie Hatter (Howl's Moving Castle, Diana Wynne Jones) vs. Hermione Granger (Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling)!

Category One. Personality.

Sophie's got personality down. She's wise beyond her years (ha) but still loves to have fun, and she has a good heart.

Hermione's got a strong personality, a bit bossy and a show off, but she grows out of it. She develops firm beliefs and is someone you don't want to piss off, and manages to keep her femininity throughout it all.

Winner: Hermione Granger. Mon Dieu, the first round and it's already intense. But Hermione's still arguing long after Sophie's scowled and dozed off.

Category Two. Fight!

Sophie may be trapped in the body of an old woman, but she's still got fight. Especially when it comes to dust and tantrum-throwing men.

Not only does Hermione have a mean right hand, she can just as easily curse you with her wand, though she's not the best at dueling.

Winner: Hermione Granger. After a long, drawn out duel, Hermione finally hits Sophie with a stunning spell, but not without recieving quite a few cuts and bruises.

Category Three. "Kiss me, you fool!"

Sophie and the wizard Howl...she turned into an old woman, he with no soul...*SQUEE*

Hermione and Ron, friends forever.

Winner: SOPHIE!! Her love story definitely fascinates more listener's than Hermione's.

Category Four. Friends.

Sophie has the aforementioned crazy wizard, the fire demon, the tiny apprentice wizard, an adorable dog, and the hopping/animated scarecrow.

Hermione is best friends with the notorious Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley, which is hard to beat.

Winner: Sophie. Howl, Michael, Calcifer, and The Scarecrow beat Harry and Ron, even if they hadn't had numbers on their side.

Category Five. Fantasy Elements.

Sophie is enchanted into the form of an old woman.

Hermione is the best witch of her year.

Winner: Hermione. She actually has magical powers, whereas Sophie is just a victim. But their knowledge of magic is probably equal.

End Score! Sophie: 2 Hermione: 3 Congratulations, Hermione! You move on to the next round! And don't worry, Sophie, you are still loved.

And the second couple is... Flora Segunda (Flora Segunda, Ysabeau S. Wilce) vs. Courtney Crumrin (Courtney Crumrin series, Ted Naifeh)!

Category One. Personality.

Courtney is antisocial, sarcastic, and very clever. And she's about twelve. "Creepy Crumrin".

Flora is a bit absent minded, a procrastinator, but very adventurous and resourceful.

Winner: Courtney. She intimidates Flora into silence with ease.

Category Two. Fight!

Courtney, though young, already has impressive magical power as a witch, but in a physical fight she's a bit wimpy.

Flora's hardly a walking tank either (though she is a bit big from eating too much), but she's got so much spirit she could probably beat the crap out of you.

Winner: Flora. Get real, she's at least twice as big as Courtney.

Category Three. "Kiss Me, You Fool!"

Courtney almost falls in love with a cursed vampire, but tragedy strikes. It's a tragic tale Courtney glosses over.

Flora has a bit of an affair with the butler, but then there's her budding relationship with her best friend. Neither ever really go anywhere.

Winner: Courtney by default. Sorry, Flora.

Category Four. Friends.

Courtney has no friends, unless you count her uncle and the recurring goblin fellow.

Flora, on the other hand, has her dogs and Udo, plus the lost family butler Valefore who, while maybe not the best of friends, is still interesting.

Winner: Flora. Courtney needs to learn the value of friendship.

Category Five. Fantasy Elements.

As said before, Courtney is a very powerful witch, despite being young and untrained.

Flora may have some magickal talent, but it's more useful for getting into trouble.

Winner: Courtney wins the last round in less than five seconds.

End Score! Courtney: 3 Flora: 2 Congratulations, Courtney! You move on to the next round! Don't cry, Flora, you're still in one of my absolute favorite books.

And the last couple of the Fantasy round is... Fire (Fire, Kristin Cashore) vs. "Ben" Benevolence (Princess Ben, Catherine Gilbert Murdock)!

Category One. Personality.

Fire is meek and a little whiny, but matures with age. Bad experiences have made her guilty and a bit shy.

In the beginning, Ben is a complete brat and pig. But by the end of her adventures, she's learned so much that she's now a formidable young woman.
Winner: Ben. Her personality is much stronger than Fire's.

Category Two. Fight!

Fire is a superb shot. She's not too bad with her fists either.

Ben, though tough, isn't exactly a fighter when it comes to the physical aspect, but she does her best.

Winner: Fire. Neither of them do well, but they're almost equally matched and Fire ends up gaining the upper hand fairly quickly.

Category Three. "Kiss Me, You Fool!"

Fire and Brigan start out in the love-hate stage. He hates her, she fears him. Love at first sight! But their feelings cultivate in a touching way, and it's hard not to fall in love with them.

Oddly enough, Ben and Florian start out love-hate too. In fact, they both hate each other. But along the way (when Ben's pulling the ole 'dress-as-a-boy' trick), they start to get along.

Winner: Fire. Her's and Brigan's relationship is easier to understand and love as a whole.

Category Four. Friends.

Fire's best friend and inital lover, Archer, is very, very, very annoying. But he's loyal.

Ben doesn't really have any friends, unless you count her spell book. But that's hardly her fault. She got locked in tower, for goodness sake.
Winner: Unfortunately, Fire. Is an annoying friend better than no friend at all?

Category Five. Fantasy Elements.

Fire is the last human monster, which gives her the power to read minds. Plus she's superhumanly beautiful. Kind of hard to beat.
Ben teaches herself magic while locked in a tower armed only with an old broom and a spellbook. She masters magic and the fine art of broom-riding.

Winner: Draw. Fire's telepathy gives her an advantage, but Ben's just too resourceful to fall behind. After a long, drawn out battle, they shake hands in mutual respect and fatigue.

End Score! Fire: 3 Ben: 1 Draws: 1 Congratulations, Fire! You move on to the next round! No worries, Ben, you're still the queen and you can still ride a broom.

So our Fantasy Finalists are: Hermione Granger, Courtney Crumrin, and Lady Fire! Tune in next Wednesday for the Urban Fantasy Character Arena!


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