Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Persy -- Wednesday Scrolls - Literary Heroines Who Don't Suck, Other Arena

You know what I think this saga needs? A theme song. Maybe some Robert Kral? An epic intro would be epic. *cue awesome soundtrack*

We've had the lists. Fantasy. Urban Fantasy. Classic & History. Other.
We've had three shows in the Arena. Fantasy. Urban Fantasy. Classic & History. And now, for the conclusion. After this episode, we will be moving on into the next round, where the genres are mixed and the TRUE battle begins!

But anyway. Refresh your memory on the contestants, and then we'll get started!

Our first pair is... Frankie Landau-Banks (The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks, E. Lockhart) vs. Gratuity "Tip" Tucci (The True Meaning of Smekday, Adam Rex)!

Category One. Personality.

Frankie certainly wouldn't have gotten as far as she did if she didn't have personality. She's a mastermind in a teenage girl's body, taking control of an entire (secret) organization at her boarding school without anyone knowing. And she has flaws that she herself corrects (she's a mastermind after all). She learns to be her own bear instead of the bear (er, girl) others assume she should be.

Tip is very matter of fact. She has serious guts. I mean, it's not like she went on a road trip with only a cat and an alien while the world was being ruled by aliens, and it's certainly not like she saved the world or anything. And she did it all while being awesome!

Winner: Frankie. She's smart enough to turn any situation to her advantage, and Tip wasn't too concerned about the whole thing to begin with.

Category Two. Fight!

Frankie's power lays in her mind. She certainly couldn't beat you up (she's tiny), but she'd more than make up for it afterwards.

Tip is also tiny, but better at using it to her advantage. She's stealthy and quick on her feet.

Winner: Tip. They're evenly matched when it comes to actual fighting, but Tip has more experience and is more resourceful.

Category Three. "Kiss Me, You Fool!"

Frankie can't believe it when the hottest, and smartest, guy asks her out, the guy she's liked for years. But he does, and they get together, and she's really happy. Until she discovers his true personality (he's really annoying)!

Tip's like, twelve. It's refreshing that she has no love interest at all.

Winner: Frankie. While her actual boyfriend may be an idiot, she gets points because her relationship truly grows. Plus, Tip didn't have a thing to contribute.

Category Four. Friends.

Frankie's got one best friend, but even she doesn't know all of Frankie's secrets. She doesn't have a true best friend.

Tip has a cat and an alien. Oh yeah.

Winner: Tip. You really can't beat J.Lo the alien.

Category Five. Juggling.

Frankie's not too awesome at it at first, but she practices nonstop until she masters it. Estimated Time Spent Mastering: three days.

Tip gets the basics easily, but doesn't care enough to spend a ton of time mastering it. Estimated Time Spent Mastering: two weeks.

Winner: Frankie.

End Score! Frankie: 3 Tip: 2 Congratulations, Frankie! We'll be seeing you next time! Sorry, Tip, but you didn't care much in the first place, right?

And our second fighting pair is...Haruhi Fujioka (Ouran High School Host Club by Bisco Hatori) vs. Jasmine Callihan (Bad Kitty, Michele Jaffe)!

Category One. Personality.

Haruhi's strong, independant, and smart. She's not a feminist, but she doesn't see the point in distinguishing between males and females (no matter how many times she gets into situations where it would matter). She's always been poor and practically on her own, and it takes her a while to discover that sometimes you should ask for help.

Jasmine, while not poor, certainly has a hard life. Her father's a tyrant, won't let her study forensics (her dream), and abruptly moves them all to Italy whenever he feels like it. But this doesn't stop Jasmine from being totally awesome and totally hilarious. She's very smart, and probably the funniest main character ever.

Winner: Draw. Haruhi's good at arguing when she gets worked up, but Jasmine's easily distracted. Nevertheless, Jasmine keeps getting the upper hand with her humor and keeps on confusing Haruhi. They finally both get exhausted and leave.

Category Two. Fight!

Haruhi's pretty shrimpy, and the few times she's gotten into a fight (or slapped someone, rather), she mostly relied on the element of surprise. When she doesn't have that, she usually loses.

Jasmine's not quite coordinated enough to be good in a fight, but she knows enough about forensics to at least know what makes a good weapon.

Winner: Jasmine. Neither of them are very good, but Jasmine eventually wins.

Category Three. "Kiss Me, You Fool!"

Haruhi's got many love interests (it's shoujo manga, after all), but her main one is Tamaki. He's hilarious and doesn't really understand his feelings for Haruhi, but he tries everything to please and protect her.

Jasmine has her super awesome boyfriend Jack, who she's absolutely in love with. They're adorable together.

Winner: Haruhi. She spends more time with Tamaki than Jasmine does with Jack, so we get to know him better.

Category Four. Friends.

Haruhi has the entire Host Club, composed of an evil mastermind, two scheming twins, a strong and silent protecter, and deceptively cute martial artist. And Tamaki, of course.

Jasmine has her own band of merry men, including Polly the fashion expert (who always puts protection in her latest outfits), and the twins Roxy and Tom.

Winner: Haruhi. The Host Club just barely beats Jasmine's crew. Barely.

Category Five. Juggling.

Haruhi's not great at that sort of thing, but she's good at pretty much everything, so she picks it up quickly. Estimated Time Spent Mastering: One day (in the world of manga, it'd only take long enough for Mori to bribe her with fancy tuna).

Jasmine's a bit clumsy, so it takes her a while, but she's determined, so she gets it done! Estimated Time Spent Mastering: Almost a month.
Winner: Haruhi.

End Score! Haruhi: 3 Jasmine: 1 Draws: 1 Congrats, Haruhi! We all know you really wanted to move on to the next round! And I'm really sorry, Jas, but I was going to reread your book anyway.

And our last battle is... Audrey Cuttler (Audrey, Wait!, Robin Benway) vs. Shahara Dagan (Born of Fire, Sherrilyn Kenyon)!

Category One. Personality.

Audrey's snarky, grumpy, whiny, hilarious, and loves music. In a word, she's realistic. And yet, still likeable! Plus she has real character growth.

Shahara is a bit more 2D. She has layers, of course, with secret desires and thoughts and unexpectedness in general, but she's not the most unique crayon in the box.

Winner: Audrey. If they were crayons, she'd be Jazzberry Jam while Shahara would simply be Red.

Category Two. Fight!

Audrey would certainly punch you if you asked for it, but it's not her strong point.
Shahara, on the other hand, beats people up for a living.
Winner: Shahara, without a doubt.

Category Three. "Kiss Me, You Fool!"

Audrey's entire story is about her breakup with her ex-boyfriend, but amidst the chaos, she's discovering that her coworker actually has a personality, and is awesome.

Shahara falls for her latest mark, one of the worst criminals in the universe. Perhaps they're a cliché, but they do it well.

Winner: Shahara. She and Syn are just a bit awesomer than Audrey and James.

Category Four. Friends.

Audrey's best friend Victoria is certainly annoying, but she's also the one who practically smacks Audrey in the face and tells her to grow up (which is good).

Shahara's only real friends are her family, and they don't even really count.

Winner: Audrey. Victoria may be annoying, but she's still there and she still really cares about Audrey.

Category Five. Juggling.

It takes her more than a few times, but Audrey gets it pretty easily. Estimated Time Spent Mastering: one week.

Shahara expects it to be easy, but has more trouble than anticipated. She gets frustrated too easily. Estimated Time Spent Mastering: one month.

Winner: Audrey.

End Score! Audrey: 3 Shahara: 2 Congratulations, Audrey! You move on to the next round! Don't worry about it, Shahara, you can still beat her up.

Our Other finalists are: Frankie Landau-Banks, Haruhi Fujioka, and Audrey Cuttler! Next week we'll be moving on into the REAL battle, when the genres mix and the it gets truly dangerous!

--Persy

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